Cool, Calm and Connected

January / February 2009

A “How To” ezine of practical strategies and inspiration to help professionals communicate with ease and authenticity every time they speak. Published by Geraldine Barkworth every 2 months & emailed to confidential subscriber lists. Average read: 3 minutes.

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What’s New – Upcoming Courses

• Communicate Connect Level 1 - workshop intensive, Bruns, Saturday Feb 14, 2009, $180.
• Communicate Connect Level 1 – 6 week group program to speak with ease and authenticity, Brunswick Heads, Feb 23 – 30 March 2009, Monday mornings, $220.
• Communicate Connect Levels 2 & 3 – one day workshop intensives, April 4 & March 2, 2009.

“How To Talk In Difficult Places: Le Noisy Café”

Article 1 of 6 in the 2009 theme of “How To Talk In Difficult Places”.

Big Picture

When we stand up and speak in front of others, we want to be seen, heard and preferably, remembered. Otherwise, what is the point of public speaking? You might as well stay snuggled in a quiet corner, your brilliance a well-kept secret.

The Problem

How do you attract and maintain the attention of an audience in a noisy café?

• when crash goes the coffee machine!
• waitresses pass back and forth;
• people seem more interested in their bacon and eggs than in you;
• listeners are scattered over lots of tables and want to chat;
• you feel intimidated and can’t remember a single sensible word.

Problems Created By The Problem

For many people, the impact of multiple distractions in a noisy café brings up fears of having to work really hard to attract and maintain the attention of your audience. Because if you can’t keep their attention, what might that say about you?

Fears can trigger old beliefs to surface. Many people adopt one of these tactics when feeling under pressure:

• Speak really fast to keep everyone’s attention – this is OK at first, but it becomes tiring for listeners and the speaker due to lack of space to think ideas through and connect with each other.

• Perform, entertain, be larger than life to make more noise than the coffee machine – this becomes trying and inauthentic, loosing credibility for you and your service.

• Doggedly follow your memorised or written script – when you ignore natural laughter or events like a glass breaking loudly – it reveals you are not genuinely present with your audience and they are in fact, immaterial. This destroys trust and rapport.

• Your voice, eyes and spirit just fade away as you assume you can’t possibly hold anyone’s attention because you have nothing of value to offer – audiences may cringe and your esteem and self-belief plummet further.

The Simple Solution

The simple way to attract and maintain an audience’s attention in a noisy café is to be fully present each and every time you speak. An audience can tell immediately if a speaker is emotionally as well as physically present and will listen, accordingly.

In a nutshell, the key is to connect personally with your audience as individuals and engage their interest with a topic and information that is genuinely relevant and useful to them. Following is a list of steps to remind you how to be seen, heard and remembered every time you speak in a difficult place like a noisy cafe:

• Give yourself time to prepare in advance to be mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually present.
• Arrive early, familiarise yourself with the room and meet people personally.
• Take a slow deep breath before speaking and make eye contact.
• Speak as though you are having a one on one conversation, pausing naturally, allowing your words to flow, giving your audience space and time to absorb your words. It also allows you to listen to your audience.
• Manage your emotions by choosing to connect only with audience members who are already offering you their eyes and attention. Do not be distracted by anyone who appears to not be listening to you.
• Interact with your audience by asking questions, request raising of hands, brief feedback, invite participation through exercises. Make it physical – if you have a product, show it or demonstrate a special technique – this also allows you to “speak less, and say more” via action rather than words.
• Tell your audience you want them to do something at the start of your talk as this engages interest and creates a “giving and receiving” loop.
• Give the audience something truly useful, relevant and memorable to take away, like an article or a sample.

Enough Talk, Let's Get Practical

Now It’s Time To Take Action

1. Identify the main thing that makes you most uncomfortable or fearful about speaking in a noisy café. Visualise yourself handling it differently.
2. Take a moment to visualise yourself speaking in a noisy café. Go through the steps above. What would you be doing, saying, feeling, differently?
3. Contact me if you’d like further help, or research my coaching programs:

© 2009, Geraldine Barkworth. Reprintable when full credit is given and the whole newsletter is reproduced.
For more information about services including private coaching, corporate training or to make a media enquiry, please contact Geraldine Barkworth directly on +61 (2) 6685 1917 or email
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